Characters: Henry, Errin (briefly), Gregory
Rating: Not for children...?
Warnings: illness, sensitive subject:murder, sensitive subject:cancer, sensitive subject: mental illness, sensitive feels everywhere!!! (maybe? It's a bit short...)
I'm feeling a bit sleepy, but let's go on ahead...sorry for the bad writing/grammar.
Every day it seems I'm looking for the light. It's there, but I can't see it. My eyes are covered, and I won't receive surgery. Who wants an orphan to receive treatments? I sure don't; I don't really deserve eyes or legs. So it looks like I'm stuck here wasting away on this bed. I can't run away because of the accident that hit my spine, paralyzing me. Honestly, it's only a matter of time before the charity ends. I'll just lay here on this bed, and hope I see the light from the window of this cold room.
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There's someone that visits me. He comes every day, after lunch, so I think he's a patient. It's so refreshing to talk to someone that knows. He's around seventeen, and he's already had so many treatments; it seems like they found something cancerous. Though, its strange he's not sad or anything, not like the other people, he's instead really talkative and happy. I'm not sure why, but he's fine with dying. It's a shock to be sure, he says, but I've had it coming for a while. Everyone dies sometime, but why can't I find release? Perhaps it's because of my brother; I haven't seen him since the accident.
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He finally asked me; he asked why I was in the hospital. I almost didn't tell him, but I couldn't help myself. He seemed really sincere about it. My brother, Errin, did it; for all that and he got sent to another type of hospital. I fell, and Errin tried to stop it, and I was "lucky" to have survived. A neighbor thought he saw Errin push me, so the police wanted to put him in jail. I'm sort of glad someone realized he had a mental snap ever so often. Now he's in that hospital; he's just in a different place, but it's the same situation.
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Gregory told me that he was dying; the cancer had progressed too far, and the treatments stopped working. I flipped over in my bed, trying to ignore him.
"I've been discharged, so I could die at home." Gregory spoke finally.
"Is that what you want?" I coldly replied, "It must be lonely."
"Yes, but no." He mumbled," I know what you ask your nurse; long enough so that she doesn't even talk to you anymore."
"It's no fun that you get to leave. When your gone, I'm sure..." I stop, almost to tears all of a sudden, catching my breath.
"I could help you get out." Gregory's sad but serious voice left reverberations within me.
"Only in a body bag..." I choke out as I turn to lay on my back. Gregory gently brushed my blond hair away from my face.
"...on the third floor." Gregory sat on my stomach, taking off my bandages. My eyes were watery, and he wiped them away. I knew he had to hurry; if some one came in now. His hands on my neck, massaging the top of my spine, and slowly began to squeeze. I didn't struggle.
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I'm at the window, on the third floor. My eyes are wet with tears. The nurse came in at the wrong time, screaming for help. Henry, I'm sorry I couldn't make it less painful. Not looking back, pulling away from the hand that grabbed me, I jumped out the window.
It didn't make a difference, but I'm glad I get a second chance.
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"Brother...what were you thinking? Now I have to follow. It'll be easy, so just hold on for me." I mumbled as I take a step towards the armed guard.
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Please have a nice day, and seek help. There are people who want to help. You don't have to suffer in silence.
Thank you for reading. Please go look at cat pictures or something. :)
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twitter: @scaredygiraffe (rant/depression and like blog)
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