Hi! Sorry it's been taking so long on updates. I've been having a lot of issues with writing anything lately, and hit a road block. I have a roadmap of where I want the story to go, but it's the little details. Ahhhh. It's really annoying sometimes.
This is really a between type chapter, wrapping up the events that took place in the first part. I'll try to start the next bit sooner rather than later. Fingers crossed. :)))
Warning: processing stuff
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It didn't make sense to go anywhere else after that. We had to go back to Betha's house. Well it's not like she could go anywhere else with us. Betha can't leave the forest for some reason. She's told me time and time again, but won't elaborate on why. I can't help but think that the time for that is going to be coming soon. I need to ask her. If it's a curse or something I can break it surely. Is that even a thing here? It really doesn't matter. Sure I won't know how, but it'll be better if I can a least try to help. This stupid scythe has to be good for something. What's the point to this stupid thing after all? Feeling it's weight in the back of my mind, I start to doubt myself.
What's the point of me being here anyway? I keep getting my ass kicked every time something/someone tries to attack me or someone I care about. My pride can only take so much. I can only take so much. I'm starting to seriously wonder why I was even chosen for this stupid task...thing. It's starting to become very obvious to me that Death has a few screws loose; I guess I do too since I'm still here. It's not like I have another way out of here.
At least there's nothing broken this time. My friends are still trying to be cautious and we are taking it slowly; going slowly back to Betha's house and the destruction that Ether did to it. I can see the door still on the ground in the clearing beyond the trees. By the way that Betha stiffens up, so does she. Regardless of how she views the place: a jail or home, it still sucks to be reminded of the last couple of hours.
"Well." Betha finally whispers, sighing loudly through her nose. I can feel her deflate. I grip her arm, trying to remind her that I'm here for her.
"Right, let's just go in. I'll find a curtain or something." Girtin urges lightly. His determined expression calms me down a little. At least he hasn't given up, right? He leads us to the doorway, not looking at the door on the ground as we pass it. Betha doesn't either.
Once we enter the threshold of the building I take in the extent of the damage. It wasn't that bad, all things considered. Betha was lucky; a couple of overturned chairs and broken cups was better than- I don't even want to think. It's hard not to allow myself to imagine what it could've been like. I shake myself lightly. I can't just think about that.
I am led to the couch, a ratty purple thing that looked older than sin. I didn't sink too far into it. Which was a good thing being as sore as I was. I must have overestimated my injures earlier, but that didn't mean I wasn't tender. My throat hurt the most. I could still feel Ether's cold slender hands on my neck. I shudder to myself. Girtin's head bobbed up, alert.
"We're working on the heating situation, hang tight. Do you need a blanket? Let me get you one." Girtin walks off without me even speaking. I huff but say nothing. Betha shakes me suddenly, urgently.
"Let me get you some clothes to wear. They aren't damp anymore, but you look like you could use a clean set. I'm sure I have some things that would suit you. I might have some jeans, but I'm not sure if they'd fit." She hums to herself, thoughtful. "Unless you would like a skirt?" Her eyebrows dart up at that.
"Ahhh, no." I declare, crossing my arms in a big 'x'. "I'll pass on the skirt. I had enough of that growing up. Mom just went crazy for dresses, you know that. No, thank you!" Betha just giggles at that, apologizing to me but not sorry at all.
"I know, Diedre. I'm just teasing you. Come on! Let me help you up. We'll go in my room so you can have some privacy." She leads the way to a small room that branches down a hallway from the living room.
-
The moment we crossed the doorway of the room I could feel that the air had changed. Colder. More solemn. Betha just walks to the window and grabs something in a small dresser.
"Diedre, thank you for listening to my request and keeping Silen safe." Betha smiled solemnly. "I don't think I could ever be as brave as you. Actually, I'm just scared. I'm scared of going back home and seeing what it looks like now. I know I'm not alive anymore, but I'm just so scared."
"Diedre I've been lying to you all this time. Well, maybe not, but I just want you to understand." I nod my head to that.
"No one is stopping me from leaving the forest. It's just the fear, it's me. That's what's it's always been..." Betha trails off, getting quiet, she slowly sits on the bed. Her hands grip each other on her lap, like she's fighting with herself. Then she suddenly faces me, eyes wide with shock. "Oh, no- no I'm sorry I forgot to give you the clothes. You-you got hurt. I let you get hurt. I couldn't do anything." Betha stares blankly at her hands, seemingly unable to cry. She sniffles a little. "No. There isn't anything I can do now. I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry about Betha?" I ask her, frowning a little. "You had no idea that Death would do that. Ya sure you being in one place made you 'easier' to track, but I bet even if you were at your old house, it would be the same as if Silen or Girtin was taken. I mean, I'd still come to save you; you are my friend after all."
"Look if you don't want to go to the city, you don't have to. If being out here makes you feel safe, then that's fine. I'll still visit." She nods slowly, handing me a bundle of clothes. I turn around and face the opposite wall, feeling nervous.
"I know what you're saying, Diedre. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about what I'm saying. I have to go, and what I'm asking you is for you to come with me. Well, you and Girtin, but you get what I'm saying." She hesitates, twiddling her fingers. "I'm leaving this place. I can't take living alone anymore."
I nod, finally turning around to face Betha. She smiles at me, tension releasing from the shoulders. I feel something being handing to me: a small vial of some unknown ruby colored liquid.
"This is kind of cheating, but I have this. It's a healing thing. You know, like in video games." She sheepishly hands it to me. "I don't have much, but this should do for your wounds and pain. It tastes horrible, so be ready."
I'm not a stranger to downing cough syrup or whatever weird concoction my mom put me up to, back when she was trying to save money. I just knock it back. Betha carefully watches my reaction, her unsettled expression not fading until I finish the vial. I shrug lazily. It doesn't taste bad, per se, but it is extremely herbal. It tastes a bit like dirt. I've had much worse. At least it doesn't have alcohol in it.
"So how do you feel?" Betha smiles, face relaxing, and she sits on the bed, folding her hands over her lap. How do I feel? My neck doesn't hurt and I can move it without any pain. It doesn't hurt to breathe. I just nod, giving Betha a small smile for her efforts. "I don't want to sound selfish, but I wanted to make sure you were well enough for the journey tomorrow. I need to go as soon as possible."
"Oh, yea, I get it. Betha. Look. It's ok." I smile down at her. "I was wondering about getting there, but hey, I don't hurt anymore. I can make the trip!" Betha laughs halfheartedly at my attempt at bravado. I'll take what I can get.
Not so distantly I can hear Girtin run down the hallway to the door, hurriedly knocking.
"Hey, Betha, you know you have like no food right? What is Diedre going to eat? All you have is the purple stuff! Not even-" Betha just gets up, straightens out her face, and stomps to the door; she yoinks it open, much to Girtin's surprise. (I guess he figured I was changing, as his face was red for like two seconds...)
"I'll have you know that the 'purple stuff' is extremely nutritious and completely edible! We've been through this Girtin!" Betha huffs. "Besides, it can 'look' like food, you just need to be creative!" All he does is sigh to that, rolling his eyes. He jams his hands in his pockets.
"I guess I'm starving tonight. Good night, ladies, I'm getting an early start." And with that, he leaves to the guest room (I'm assuming), and closes the door before Betha can grab him.
We just look at each other. Betha grumbling to herself; sounding a lot like 'why is he like this?'.
"I'll give it a try, but no promises Betha. If it's gross I'm spitting it out." I say over my shoulder, walking over to the kitchen I saw earlier from the couch.
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I lay on the couch, exausted after Betha's worried insisting that she or Girtin (her obvious pick) take the couch. I had to keep telling her that it was fine. It wouldn't seem right that I take her bed or that we wake Girtin up. It's just one night. It took time, but she finally caved after I took three blankets from her (to make it more comfortable, she said). Sighing and finally relaxing into the covers I try to think about nothing, emptying my mind. Staring at the ceiling, I count sheep; it's never helped much, but at this point I'd try anything. Relax. Relax. I have to sleep before-
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I'm somewhere warm, comforting, and familiar.
-
I'm sideways, on a pillow on someone's lap. A hand in gently stroking my hair, smoothing the cowlicks and untangling the knots. Groggily I stir a little, trying to get a look at the person. The hand stops.
-Ah, I woke you up. Sorry, sweetheart.-
The voice is male. I don't remember who this is. Maybe it's another something I've forgotten. Another memory I've locked away. Shame leaks into my heart.
-Was it a bad dream?-
The voice is like honey in my ears. It washes away the bitterness. I'm lulled into a childish mindset, one that promises that everything is going to be ok. I let it for once.
-I have bad dreams too. It might help if you talk about it. Once you talk about it, you can see how small your worries are.-
I can't talk. I can't ask the questions I want. A small childish voice comes from my mouth instead. A story about mommy, daddy, and XXXXXX leaving me behind. A childish fear, but it happened anyway, I think bitterly.
-I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the same thing.-
-You and I are so alike sweetheart. I'm sorry. I wish it could be different.-
-But. I will try my best not to ever have to leave you or your mother or your XXXXXX. Life has a way of bending your will to fit fate's design. I might have to go away, but you and I will always be apart of each other.-
-No matter what happens: I will always love you, sweetheart. Daddy will always love you. Mommy will always love you. Nothing you do will change that.-
A childish voice, once that I finally realize is mine, declares that she'll always protect her Daddy and that she'll never leave him. She nuzzles into him, turning up to see just enough of the fiery red hair, pushed messily over his face. His faltering smile is all I can see at first, but she doesn't see that. She doesn't see the tears streaking down his face, lips quivering, and deep shadows under his eyes. All she sees is the father who's always been there for her. Finally she notices, when some tears hit her face, and she asks what's wrong.
-Promise me that you'll protect them. Your family needs you, just like you need them.-
Why do you act like you know you are going away? Why do you know? Why does this feel like you're saying good bye? But the little girl doesn't know the future, she only knows what's important now, so she wholeheartedly promises.
-Your mother and I love you so much, Diedre.-
The pit in my heart grows, no longer soothed by the presence of a father I can barely remember. I know now why I didn't want to remember this one. What happens after this? I don't remember.-
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I shudder awake with a phantom kiss on my forehead. My blankets are on the floor. Both Girtin and Betha are chatting over some food. They quickly eat what they are holding and look at me worried.
"We were just about to wake you up, but Betha said no." Girtin laughs smugly, poking his finger at her.
"It's not even that far into the morning, we have a three hour walk. It's 'fine' Girtin." Betha mocks him.
"What were you eating? I thought Betha's food was purple." I ask. Girtin clams up, mouth pressed into a worried frown.
"Ha-ah it was hiding. I had no idea, but she had a secret stash of....-" Girtin spudders wildly.
"-Poptarts." Betha interjects," Sorry these were the last ones. Besides don't you hate smores? Or did you gain some good taste?" She laughs at her joke, briefly, before flashing her most innocent expressions at me.
"Drugged poptarts?" I smirk. Betha's scandalized expression is almost worth it. All Girtin does is laugh wildly at her expression, holding his stomach. He chokes a little before stopping.
"NO!" Betha shrieks,"Maybe it would be best for you to start getting ready to walk, we have a long way to go!!" She hurriedly grabs me and gets me ready, against my will. Feeling more like a doll than a person, I let myself wonder about that.
Huh. Poptarts don't glow. Maybe they were eating bugs?
-
The hours pass slowly as we walk together. The weather is pleasant, but I'm still on edge after meeting Ether. Maybe I let myself pretend I was relaxing when I was at Betha's old house, but they're always at the back of my mind. Those creepy soulless eyes, pushing me further and further into the water. I shake myself, trying to focus on walking, trying to avoid panic. Let's try not to do that today, I bitterly tell myself. Girtin notices me and purposely bumps into me.
"Hey dumbass, what'cha thinking about? Better not be Betha's sorry cooking. She'd murder me if she heard that." Girtin whispered. "Come on, Diedre, you're obvi really hung up about something. Is it the drugged poptarts? If I find anymore-"
"It's about Ether. I can't get him out of my head." I confess. Girtin clams up, good humor gone.
"He's gone now, Diedre." Was all that Giritin told me before he lost his nerve. He grabs my hand.
"I know, but I can't just keep getting beat up. I just barely kicked Silen's dad's ass and now Death's lacky comes up." I fret, looking more at the ground than him.
"Wait you kicked....Silen's dad's ass?" Girtin stopped me, grimacing. "Dang I wanted to do it. Freak got what he got. Glad you did it, though." Gripping my hand in a quick squeeze, he starts walking again, leaving me in the dust. Huffing, I follow after him.
-
I tried not to think about hands around my throat for the rest of the walk. Tried, but failed. What can you do? I just stew about it for who knows how long. One foot after another. I keep walking. We pass the sign to the orphanage. We walk, the other two chatting about the weather, and I remain behind, watching the clouds. I watch for blades of dead eyed butlers and the sludge of miasma, in the form of our devils and demons, waiting for the chance to silence us.
Once we make it to the edge of the city, entering the rows and rows of suburban houses that mark the boundary to Silen's house. Betha has a death grip on my arm, eyes fixed firmly on the ground. She's walking on the sidewalk as far as humanly possible to the road. I notice that she's starting to shake and take longer breaths, like she's trying to calm herself down. I squeeze her arm. Girtin leads the way, walking Betha through the neighborhood, talking to her. There are no cars. There are no people. The city is quiet and it always will. But to Betha, she must see something else, so she looks at the ground.
I didn't notice that her eyes were dripping, but instead of telling Girtin, I just held her.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
-I'm a burden.-
"It's alright; we're almost there." I urge her down the sidewalk, distracting her throughout the crosswalks, where she seemed more stressed.
-I only make things worse.-
-I shouldn't have done this.-
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come back but she made me.-
-I'm scared. I can't have it happen again.-
-What if it comes back?-
Girtin stops in his tracks. I look up in bewilderment, pulling the smaller girl towards me. It's the house: it's back to normal! Well, where it was before, but the same as I saw before. I barely notice the small carrot headed boy sitting on the steps at first. A gasp can be heard. Silen's face darts up to look at us, eyes sparkling at the sight of Betha. With a scream he runs down to her, giggling, almost tripping over the bottom step.
Betha whips the streaks off her face, shocked into not moving. Her legs not holding up, the rest of her sliding down my leg, causing the rest of us to panic. Silen doesn't stop or slow down, collapsing into the shorter girl, and me by extension, gripping her into a bear hug. His face is hidden in her neck, rubbing his face into it.
"Betha. Betha. Betha." His voice, crackling with adoration, repeats over and over. All she can do is let her arms rest at her sides, as he smothers her. She smiles at him, fear leaving her eyes, and then she closes them.
I can feel something in the void that I keep my scythe in, a buzzing warmth trying to get my attention. I step back, Girtin watching me a moment before turning to the other two, and pull out the tool. The handle has another light: a ball.
Oh. A ball. That's what caused the accident.
"Silen give her some breathing space, geez." Girtin laughs, breaking me out of my trance. I quickly hide my scythe back into the void, my heart feeling fuller. The commotion is loud enough that Ms. Ona comes out, with her walking stick in hand she, as quickly as she can, comes over. She joins them on the ground and holds Betha along with her son.
"Welcome home sweetheart." Ms. Ona, whispers.
"It's so good to be back." Betha cries. Clutching the two even tighter.
Girtin and I watch the scene, smiling at each other. Eventually our eyes locked and Girtin shrugged, grabbing my hand pulling me into the group hug.
Warmth. Surrounded by the people I didn't realize I missed. It only dawned on me now that I was finally home. Everyone was happy. Everyone was safe.
Even if this was fake. It wasn't real because everyone here, besides myself, is dead. Tears begin to prickle my eyes realizing this. Once I get out of here, everything will return back to normal. I will be left alone. Bitterness clutches my heart. When did I get so sentimental over this? When did I become so clingy to the past? I wish I was past this. I pull away.
Betha grabs my wrist. Her eyes are filled with understanding and she smiles. Everyone else breaks their hug to look at me. Silen's tear streaked face smiling. Girtin with his proud gaze, arms crossed. Ms. Ona, her sightless eyes full of hope.
"We know you have to go." Betha whispers. "You have so much to do. You have to get out of here. You have to live."
"Ya, something about the gate to the world of the living closing soon." Girtin nodded, grimacing.
"We'll be fine here." Silen smiled. Ms. Ona nodded in agreement.
"What are you talking about? I can't just leave yet." I argue halfheartedly. I don't want to leave yet. Betha just puts her hands on my shoulders, locking eyes with me.
"Please, Diedre. You have to hurry. We will always be with you. Once you do what you have to do, you can return home, and we will come with you. If not in the flesh, but in your memories."
"Besides you have our numbers, for as long as you are in this world." Girtin points out.
"Or you could call me with a seance! Use a spirit board! It's fun and I'll always answer!" Silen bubbly laughed. "It's not 'goodbye' it's 'see you later!'" I smiled in spite of myself at that.
"Just, Diedre, promise me you'll take care of yourself!" Betha pleaded. "It's not weak to ask for help. Promise me."
-Promise me-
-It's not goodbye-
-I'd like to see you again-
-
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I'll leave that there for now!
I might come back and make Betha's part in the city a bit longer. I just kind of ran out of steam there. I bet that's obvious. :)))))
Also there were no drugged poptarts, Girtin's just lying. :))))
---Chapter Navigation--
Chapter 13 (Linky) - Chapter 14 (you are here) --> Chapter 15 (Linky)
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